Managing Love – God-Others & Ourselves-Part 1

February has been called the month of love, because of the card company Holiday, Valentines Day.  Since my husband passed, this holiday means nothing to me, BUT love does.  In these next few weeks, I decided to tackle the subject of love and learn even more about it, not just love for another person, but love for God and myself.  I want to hit real love from all angles and see where it leads us. This first blog will be a little longer than usual so please hang in there and read on, I’m praying God will touch your heart.

Free will makes love possible.  We can choose love, but we also must manage it.  It’s similar to how we manage our work, bank accounts and activities and so forth. Without thought, we do manage the importance and the benefactors of our love.

No, I do not have a valentine type love any more, but I have a lot of love in my life. First, from my Heavenly Father, second, friends and family members and third; I have come to love and respect myself.  I think there are still some people that believe we should not love our self, but I ask then why would God tell us, “Love your neighbor as yourself?” He clearly wants us to really care about other people, therefore He wants us to be able to love our self.

Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  Love your neighbor as yourself.

I think in today’s world when we first hear the word love, we automatically think of romantic love, not love for God, family, friends or ourselves.  Then what about people we do not even know?  Well here goes, buckle up, I hope to take you on a soul-searching ride into what true pure love really is.  As always, I’ll learn right along with you.  In the end I pray the Father reveals a lot of wisdom to all of us through these next few blogs just in time for Easter, the time of year that God truly proved His love for us through Jesus.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Isn’t that what Jesus did?  He laid down His life so those who can manage to accept this sacrifice, can have eternal life.

My plan is to pick apart 1 Corinthians 14:4-7 a little more each week. These verses have been read at numerous weddings over the years.  I’m sure when people read them, they may be only thinking about a marriage, but I know it’s so much more. Hopefully this will be like a mining expedition, at the end of our work we will discover some precious nuggets to keep. So, here goes!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

As humans we mess up.  We can read this verse many times, memorize them and try to live by them, but we don’t always get it right.  It can be a goal though.  The striving to meet this goal can go a long way in our ability to love and show God’s pure love to others.

All these aspects of love are managed by choice.  We also have the choice to try to manage them on our own or with God’s help.  God gives us the ability to love and He can help us with all the many facets of love as described in I Corinthians 13 if we ask.

 Love is patient. Patience is the ability to suppress a negative emotion or outburst.  Patience is a virtue and if a person lacks patience, they can damage relationships, their health, their Christian witness and even their career (see the link to the article at the end).  If lacking patience is a problem, then maybe it’s time to identify the underlying bitter roots in your soul and evaluate why it’s a constant un-manageable behavior.  Bitter Root article: https://www.sallystierhoff.com/a-deep-bitter-root/

“Patience is when you’re supposed to get mad, but you chose to understand.”  Anonymous

It’s true, love is patient.  Is it easy, NO!  Again, we are on earth, not in Heaven.   Do we have patience with God or with people we know?  What about patience with ourselves?  Oh, and here’s a good one, what about those in the grocery line or in traffic?  Is that where our patience totally dissolves?

Do we have the patience to pray and wait on God, or do we pray and run out the door taking control and doing what we planned all along? Often when we behave in this manner, we are left living with the consequences of our rash impulsive decisions.

What about patience with people we know?  I would say, most of us have patience to a point?  Right? Why because others may not be performing or responding (similar to the way we hope God will) quickly enough for us.  I get it, I know all about this, remember I raised children! LOL. I’m not saying we let the little people have their way and run amuck, but we can have a loving patient response when doling out their consequence.  Being patient and under control really does get under their skin because they are often striving to get us upset and flustered. They seem to find some joy in this! I guess it’s because it’s the one thing, at their age, they can do very well!  Oh, but I love those little people anyway!

Proverbs 25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Are we patient with ourselves?  Boy oh boy, I use to really get upset and impatient with myself. I look back on all these things and realize, I have lost it on a lot more than one occasion.  I have, at times, mismanaged love through patience to God, others and myself.  I regret to say, over my life I have missed some wonderful opportunities to show love through this important aspect and virtue of love.

 “There but for the grace of God go I” .  Rev. John Bradford 1510-1555

How do we get better and overcome our impatience? I have found the following actions has helped me manage the desire to fly off the handle and throw the gift of patience out the door.  Suggestions: Take a breath, clearly evaluate the situation with love, possibly reciting a bible verse, call on the Lord in a quiet prayer. Note: This is a daily decision, start out the day deciding to do these things or you will only react.

Sometime during your daily prayer and reflection, (if you do not do this, it’s a good place to start) evaluate yourself and how you react to God, others and yourself. Start by reflecting on these questions:  Do I live by love or do I only react?  Do I choose pure love, or a selfish form of love? Do I only show love when things work in my favor, but not when people or situations become challenging?  How often do I choose to manage love through patience? What have been the consequences of mis-managing this important aspect of love?

A good article to read.

10 Negative Impacts of Impatience on Your Life: Why it’s important to manage it.  Nikola Maras

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/10-negative-impacts-impatience-your-life-why-its-important-maras

 Prayer

Lord, we can be a weak un-managed bunch of humans down here struggling just to get through the day. Forgive us when we fail to show love with our actions and words.  Lord, give us a nudge so we start our day in prayer.  Then help us find that place of inner peace and joy to walk in all day long.  Help us let insignificant things become a lot less important in our lives and pick up the mantel of patience and love.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

God Bless

Sally

 

3 Comments on “Managing Love – God-Others & Ourselves-Part 1”

  1. Did I need to hear this!!! Thank you Sally! What a reminder! Patience is so elusive. Adding this to my prayer requests for sure!

  2. Great thoughts, We All need to Pray to Become God Doctors , Because Doctors Have a Lot of Patients !!!

  3. Great read. I will try my best to be more patient to my 6 grandchildren. It’s hard sometimes living with them. Saying prayers in the mornings is a good start to my morning routine, God has me covered for the whole day

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